she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
