Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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