so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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