...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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