and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize