Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
