using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
