theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
