I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize