I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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