I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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