Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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