she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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