You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize