The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He shit in the fireplace
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
