Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
