He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
