We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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