Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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