i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
