i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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