Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
