dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
