I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
