last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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