theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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