I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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