Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
