He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
