Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
