i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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