Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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