i wish starbucks made bloody marys
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
