nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Are we still banned from the library?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
