I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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