So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So here I am, sexting at work.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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