im six kinds of drunk right now
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
