I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
