plz talk dirty to me
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
