Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
