Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
