I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
