oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
