It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize