dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize