Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
