i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
