Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
