I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
