All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
