first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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