We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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