oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
