Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
