I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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