I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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