my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
