Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
