So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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