I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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