I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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