This girl is more easily done than said...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
farters have to be the big spoon...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
