Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
