she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize