im having a threesome with these popsicles
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
