my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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