DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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