Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
