What a fucking waste of an outfit
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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