I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
