so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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