It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
