your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
