the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I touched a dick in church today
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
