Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
