I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
