...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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