My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
