marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
