Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
