Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
